Almighty God, to you all hearts are open,
all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid:
Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit,
that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name;
through Christ our Lord. Amen.
I moved to the Big Apple today. The sights, smells, and sounds are captivating–to say the least. Here are two photos I just took: one of my room, small but cozy and home-y, and another of the vista from my window (NB more photos can be found here):
Yes, I have caught the culinary bug, as I’ve realized that I am leaving the nest of adolescence and venturing into the beautiful chaos of adulthood. Within that chaos, preparing meals serves as a palpable reminder of our roles and capacities as creators–who are wonderfully and fearfully made in image of the Creator.
I wonder though, what does “create” really mean, anyway? As I’m getting older–and not that I’m very old to speak with much authority–I’m realizing that the simpler questions are the most important ones to pose and poke at, over and over again. Even after probing and re-probing, these questions remain slippery in our hands. So, back to the question on our hands right now: what does “create” mean? I checked the etymology of “creation” and came up with an awesome Old English word: frumsceaft. The word breaks down into fruma and sceaft, which mean “beginning” and “created (shaped) thing,” respectively. Maybe we can say, then, that to “create” something is to shape a thing from its beginning, whether that beginning is a diagram, an instruction manual, or a recipe.
I’ll stick to food, since it kick-started my thought stream here. As you might have read in my previous entry, I recently prepared this yummy, cheesey bread. I took great joy in making it, as I realized how gratifying it is to mix ingredients with your hands, to feel them course in and around your fingers (wet batter is best for this). I would dare say that every act of creation, especially food creation, can be a form of worship. After all, we make food for the express purpose of it being enjoyed in community (Who wants to cook and eat alone?!).
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that God, as Trinity, represents a beautiful picture of joyful communion, and Who invites us to partake in an eternal love feast. I wonder what will be on the menu…
While at home, I have been delving a little bit into cooking and baking. Today I made peppered cheese bread, using a recipe found in the Delights and Comforts section of the June print issue of Comment. Here’s how it came out!
This morning I stumbled upon my “autographs book” from when I graduated elementary school in June of 1998. I would never label myself prophetic, but it’s pretty funny to see what I indicated as my favorite college and profession:
I think I’m pretty settled on the second verse and chorus of the new song I’m working on (entitled “Back to Baseline”):
I once knew an old man,
Who didn’t know what to give.
He spoke to his grandchild,
Gave him words of love to live.The child took those words,
And made himself a home.
Now he’s an old man,
with a grandchild of his own .You take us back, back, back,
To baseline.
You take us back, back, back,
To baseline.
Yearning bubbles up from the ground.
Like a dove to the window.
Taking stock of all that we found
But we’re coming up short, so let’s go…
Sync and Wholeness in Adult Life
It’s already been a week since I set foot outside FitzRandolph Gate (all graduation pics are here). As are many things in life , the experience was relatively anti-climactic and lackluster, but not insignificant. After all, I am now officially outside the Orange Bubble. Adult life has begun, and whether I like it or not, I am coming for the ride. What do I take with me as I face the thrill and challenge of grownup life?
Lately I have been wrestling with the ideas of synchronization (sync) and wholeness, especially as they relate to the spiritual life. For me, “sync” conjures up rich images of tuning and calibration to the will of God. In our life experiences, even in the numbing grind of the mundane, we have countless opportunities to grow in His grace and love so that we can gradually and powerfully synchronize with what He desires, what He loves, and even what He hates (e.g. injustice and oppression). The Presence of God, namely His Spirit, makes this sync-ing possible in human beings, and I believe it can happen to many people regardless of what faith they profess, if they profess any faith at all. I am not necessarily acceding to universal salvation, but merely highlighting the surprising power of common grace.
The other idea, wholeness, mysteriously weaves in with synchronization, because wholeness implies oneness or singleness of desire and will. As we move out of ourselves and our conscious–and many times unconscious–selfish desires, we encounter the radical otherness of God and neighbor. Following this encounter, we have the choice to respond with radical love and service to God and neighbor. In doing so, we become more like God, whose nature we see most clearly in the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Yeshua of Nazareth–God Enfleshed. As our hearts, thoughts, and behavior look more and more like those of Jesus, we verily become holy and whole, with a deep, refreshing peace and a welcomed absence of conflicting desires and selfish motives.
I say all of this because I hope and pray that I can experience increasing sync and deepening wholeness as I grow in my adult relationship with God and neighbor. Let it be done, if it be His will.
From Luxury to Sludge
Moving from gravitas to levity, I want to share an experience I recently had that well demonstrates an understated aspect of God’s nature: His humor. This past Sunday I returned from a ridiculously relaxing vacation in the Dominican Republic. I, along with 13 friends, stayed at an all-inclusive resort that really placed us in the lap of luxury. I’m talking all-you-can-eat, all-you-can-drink, 24/7. We were there for five days, and we savored every moment of it.
Fast forward to Sunday evening, only a couple of hours after I came home from the airport. I just finished an awesome meal of homemade chicken parmigiana, courtesy of Mom. As my Dad and I are cleaning up, we notice that the water is getting backed up in the kitchen sink. Uh-oh. My Dad is on the case first, and he makes his way into the basement to follow the pipe coming from the kitchen. He calls me down to the basement for help. As soon as I open the basement door, I am blasted with one of the worst smells I have ever encountered in my life. I then see my Dad in a legitimately desperate situation: on a ladder, next to a pipe and covered in what looks like vomit. In reality he had let out water from a drain pipe, but along with the water came chunks of old food-sludge. At that point he still couldn’t find the culpable clog. I changed clothes and joined him in the stinky business. As we guided a snake through the PVC pipe to locate the blockage, more and more sludge poured out. At one point, I laughed to myself; 24 hours earlier I was taking Dominican sun and sipping a piña colada by the beach.
God, you got me this time.
I commend to you Rainn Wilson’s brainchild SoulPancake, a great forum and space for discussion and rumination of morality, philosophy, spirituality, and the like. Here is Rainn’s description:
We want to make discussions about Spirituality, Creativity, and Philosophy cool again. Were they ever cool? I have no idea. But it seems like a good idea. We want to engage the user to “Chew on Life’s Big Questions”™. (I was kidding about the ™ symbol; you can use that phrase however you want. Even to sell frozen taquitos.) Where do you go on the Interwebs if you want an irreverent, fun, and profound take on God and Art and the Soul and Faith and Beauty? Fox.com? Maybe. But maybe also here at SoulPancake.com.
We provide some rockin’ content (interviews, blogs, challenges, contests, features, and more), but it’s really all about having YOU—the SoulPancake community—bring this site to life. Say what’s on your mind. Be real. Talk about WHY WE’RE HERE. And if I say something that offends you, let me have it.
Just remember: Life is a rich, weird, difficult experience. So join us as we go on the spiritual and artistic journey that is SoulPancake.
Done, done, and done. I have completed all requirements to obtain my undergraduate degree. Last week I presented my thesis and had my oral comprehensive exam. Whew! I cannot deny that there is a new lightness that I am palpably feeling. It’s strange when something ends, something you knew would end sometime, but it’s strange when that sometime becomes now and then passes so quickly.
As I think back on the past four years, it’s too easy–and too tempting–to speculate on how Providence would have ordered my experiences and relationships differently here. But I’d rather not tread that path. Instead, I appreciate all that’s transpired; I accept and am thankful for all of the sweet peaks, and I am equally thankful for the valleys. Not to sound cliché, but I think that, without a doubt, I grew and matured the most during the dark seasons–whether I was struggling with faith, lamenting my singleness (at the time), or letting cynicism and pessimism sweep over me and cloud my vision.
As June 2 looms, I await my passage from the Orange Bubble into the wider, scarier, and grittier adult world. I can honestly say that I am confident and at peace about several things: (1) God is Infinite Love, in Trinity. He created human beings for Himself–to love Him, serve Him, and be in communion with Him; (2) S*** happens, as they say. God lets things happen that we think–in our limited understanding–shouldn’t have happened. But to paraphrase Gandalf, what should or shouldn’t have happened is not for us to decide. All we can do, with God’s grace and help, is decide what to do with the time that is given to us; (3) Love and justice should motivate not only our interpersonal relations but how we engage with the world. One day, some day, all will be put to rights. Let us work hard then, with faith, hope, and love, towards the Kingdom Come.
I will close this entry with some lyrics of an up-and-coming song. The first verse is a bittersweet reflection/address towards my generation, about whom I feel ambivalent yet hopeful:
Scattered, shattered, a rummage sale for souls,
Squeeze some lemonade before you get too old.
Stubborn children, run and collect your gold.Don’t let the coffee stains keep holding you down,
Run for love, let the light swing you ‘round,
Thrash the darkness with glorious sound.
From Gregory of Nazianzus, Bishop of Constantinople, A.D. 389
Will you think less of him . . .
because to seek for what had wandered,
the good Shepherd who lays down his life for the sheep
came on the mountains and hills
on which you used to sacrifice
and found the wanderer?And having found it,
he took it upon his shoulders,
on which he also bore the wood.And having borne the wandering sheep,
he brought it back to the life above.And having brought it back,
he numbered it among those who have never strayed.
